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喜歡的台詞與腐眉批

#1 A Scandal in Belgravia

雷斯垂德的評論永遠是那麼一針見血。
Lestrade(L): This is just friendly advice, but give Sherlock five minutes on your crime scene and listen to everything he has to say. And as far as possible, try not to punch him.

前往艾琳的公寓之前,夏洛克決定來點偽裝。
Sherlock (S): Punch me in the face.
John (J): Punch you?
S: Yes, punch me, in the face. Didn't you hear me?
J: I always hear "punch me in the face" when you're speaking, but it's usually subtext.
S: Oh, for God's sake!
結果夏洛克就對著約翰的臉K下去了……被惹毛了的醫生回了一拳、還撲上去勒住夏洛克的脖子。
S: Okay, I think that's enough now.
J: You want to remember, Sherlock, I was a soldier. I killed people!
S: You were a doctor!
J: I had bad days!

在艾琳的公寓裡。艾琳看了一眼夏洛克臉上的傷口,嘴巴對夏洛克說話,眼睛卻看著約翰:「有人愛著你呢。」
Irene(I): No, I think you’re damaged, delusional and believe in a higher power. In your case, it's yourself. And somebody loves you... Oh, if I had to punch that face, I'd avoid your nose and teeth too.
J: Could you put something on please, anything at all... a napkin?
I: Why? Are you feeling exposed?
S: I don't think John knows where to look.
I: No, I think he knows exactly where. I'm not sure about you.
↑ 強大的艾琳一眼就看出來約翰看著小夏、小夏卻搖擺不定嗎?
S: If I were to look at naked women I'd borrow John's laptop.
J: You do borrow it.
S: I confiscate it.
↑ 小夏你幹嘛沒收約翰的裸女照啦!(笑翻)

被弟弟跟弟夫聯手攻擊的麥考夫哥哥。
Mrs Hudson(Mrs H): It's a disgrace, sending your little brother into danger like that. Family is all we have in the end, Mycroft Holmes.
Mycroft(M): Oh, shut up, Mrs Hudson.
S/J: Mycroft!
M:Apologies.
Mrs H: Thank you.
S: Though do in fact shut up.
↑ 果然是兄弟(囧)

因為艾琳的手機,哈德森太太遭到黑衣人襲擊。這個段落也很精彩。
S: Lestrade? We've had a break-in at Baker Street. Send your least irritating officers and an ambulance. Oh, no-no-no-no, we're fine. No, it's the burglar. He's got himself rather badly injured. Oh, a few broken ribs, fractured skull, suspected punctured lung. He fell out of a window.

之後倒楣的闖入者就被扔下樓了。明明是打電話報警,我怎麼覺得小夏在叫屬下來收拾殘局?被綁在椅子上的闖入者好無辜啊XDD
L for Loyalist: And exactly how many times did he fall out the window?
S for Sadist: Oh, it's all a bit of a blur, Detective Inspector. I lost count.

正義使者H太太,英國的棟梁!
S: Thank you. Shame on you, John Watson!
J: Shame on me?
S: Mrs Hudson, leave Baker Street? England would fall!

情敵的會面。詐死的艾琳模仿麥考夫哥哥的手法把約翰騙出來單獨會面。小夏隨後趕到。
J: You flirted with Sherlock Holmes?
↑ 忍不住想加所有格:「你跟我的夏洛克調情?」不過約翰太謙和了。他要是會說這種話,那怕是一次也好,小夏早就撲倒他了。
I: At him. He never replies.
J: No, Sherlock always replies. To everything. He's Mr. Punchline. He will outlive God trying to have the last word.
I: Does that make me special?
J: I don't know, maybe.
I: Are you jealous?
J: We're not a couple.
I: Yes you are. There. "I'm not dead. Let's have dinner."
J: Who the hell knows about Sherlock Holmes, but... for the record, if anyone out there still cares — I'm not actually gay.
↑ 真的,約翰,此地無銀三百兩。還有,我一點都不在乎。
I: Well, I am. Look at us both.
↑ 此時小夏的簡訊鈴聲響起。約翰和艾琳一時都愣住了。聽到最後的對話,小夏黯然離去。知道小夏追著艾琳前來,約翰心情很複雜,一臉好可憐的樣子。花心的小夏!

被艾琳閃亮亮的大眼睛拐去做免費推理的小夏。小夏花心!
S: Please don't feel obliged to tell me that was remarkable or amazing, John's expressed that in every possible variant available to the English language.
↑ 得意個什麼勁啊你。
I: I would have you, right here, on this desk, until you begged for mercy twice.
S: ...John, please can you check those flight schedules, see if I'm right?
J(stunned): ...I'm on it, yeah.
S: ...I've never begged for mercy in my life.
I: Twice.
↑ 居然在約翰面前跟艾琳調情!小夏沒良心!!

麥考夫哥哥對弟弟的一些感想每每讓夏洛克變得比較像人啊!
M: My brother has the brain of a scientist or a philosopher, yet he elects to be a detective. What might we deduce about his heart?
J: I don't know.
M: Neither do I. But initially, he wanted to be a pirate.


#2 The Hound of Baskerville

雷斯垂德的診斷。大推。不過也有人說亞斯柏格症其實是華生的診斷。到底是怎樣呢?
L: I suppose he likes having the same faces back together. It appeals to his... his...Aspergers?

夏洛克道歉名場景!
S: Listen, what I said before John, I meant it. I don't have friends; I've just got one.
J: Right.
↑ 約翰敷衍一下就走開了。做得好!
S: John? John! You are amazing, you are fantastic!
J: Yes, alright, don't have to overdo it.


#3 The Reichenbach Fall

約翰跟夏洛克愛的相聲。
J: You're doing the look again.
S: I can't see it, can I? It's my face.
J: Yes, and it's doing a thing. You're doing a, "We both know what's really going on here" face.
S: Well we do.
J: No. I don't. Which is why I find The Face so annoying.

從法庭安然脫身後,莫瑞亞堤造訪貝克街。小夏泡了茶還演奏巴哈,完全是備戰狀態。一開始針鋒相對,不過莫瑞亞堤最後的回馬槍好厲害啊!瞬殺!!
Holmes: You could break any bank. But you care about the highest bidder.
Moriarty: I don't. I just like to watch them all competing. "Daddy loves me the best!" Aren't ordinary people adorable? Well you know. You've got John. I should get myself a live-in one.
↑ 「普通人真可愛不是嗎?你再清楚不過了。你有約翰嘛。我應該給自己找個同居人的。」小夏一臉戒備不敢接話。可以理解。畢竟一句話說錯心愛的約翰就會被瘋狗瘋咬了啊~

似曾相識啊。我記得小丑也對蝙蝠俠說過類似的話。
M: Every fairy tale needs a good old fashioned villain. You need me or you're nothing — because we're just alike, you and I. Except you're boring. You're on the side of the angels.

最後在頂樓對峙時,小夏加以反駁。
S: Oh, I may be on the side of the angels...but don't think for one second that I am one of them.
↑ 如果約翰在場的話,應該會很驚訝地說,什麼?有人這麼想過嗎?

殺手開始進駐貝克街,大舅子趕緊找約翰洽談。
M: In fact four top international assassins relocated within spitting distance of Two Hundred and Twenty-one B. Anything you care to share with me?
J: I'm moving?
太讚了,難得一見的反擊啊!約翰幹得好!

茉莉這個角色在第二季有很好的發揮。我一直覺得是這段對話讓夏洛克把茉莉歸入朋友。茉莉一邊說最後一句,一邊看著實驗室另一端的醫生。雖然短暫,夏洛克的神情令人動容啊!
S: Molly, please don't feel the need to make conversation. It's really not your area.
Molly: When he was dying, he was always cheerful, he was lovely. Except when he thought no one could see. I saw him once. He looked sad.
S: Molly.
Molly: You look sad. When you think he can't see you.

局長因為出言侮辱小夏,被約翰一拳揍得流鼻血。約翰因此被抓到警車旁邊,跟小夏一起。
S: Joining me?
J: Yeah, well, apparently it's against the law to chin the Chief Superintendent.
S: Bit awkward, this.
J: There's no one to bail(保釋) us.
↑ 可見平時都是互相保釋的?這是什麼樣的搭檔啊……
S: I was thinking more about our imminent(即將發生的)and daring escape.
J: What?
接著小夏就抓起警用無線電開到最大,趁大家耳機回授時,從距離最近的警察身上奪槍,逼開眾人。真的,不可以惹小夏啊!XDD
S: Ladies and gentlemen, will you please all get on your knees? [Firing the gun in the air] Now would be good!
Lestrade: Do as he says!
J: Just so you're aware, the gun is his idea, I'm just a...you know...
S: [suddenly pointing the gun at John's head] My hostage!
J: Hostage! Yes. That works...
↑ 都這個地步了約翰你在避什麼嫌啊!!剛剛打人的時候怎麼就不想一想?(笑翻)

於是,順利劫持「人質」的要犯夏洛克,與約翰展開愛的大逃亡。小夏,這是你「執子之手,與子偕老」的愛的誓約嗎?XDD
S: Take my hand.
J: Oh, people are definitely going to talk.

插播。麥考夫哥哥的告解和約翰的吐槽。
M: Too much history between us, John. Old scores. Resentments.
J: Nicked all his smurfs? Broke his Action Man?

約翰的告白。我都要哭了,小夏沒良心!
J: You … you told me once … that you weren't a hero. Umm… There were times when I didn't even think you were human, but let me tell you this. You were the best man, the most human ... human being that I've ever known and no one will ever convince me that you told me a lie, and so ... there. I was so alone ... and I owe you so much. But please, there's just one more thing, one more thing, one more miracle , Sherlock, for me, don't be ... dead. Would you do that just for me? Just stop it. Stop this…

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